Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Diagnosis: Major Depressive Disorder, part 2

Today sucks. I felt much better yesterday but today I crashed again. I think it is because yesterday Guy and I spent quite a bit of time outside and I got some work done in the yard. Nothing too serious but raking up leaves. I was so exhausted afterward that I couldn't stay awake. I tried really hard. Drank a bunch of coffee. Tried to engage myself online or in a project. But my eyes kept on wanting to close. And my muscles in my legs hurt like hell. My back hurts. I took some ibuprofen but the pain only subsided minimally. When I am down my body responds in pain.

It seems that anytime I try to get some excercise my body crashes.

I stayed up late last night, hoping that I could sleep after the nap I had. I did fall asleep but had trouble staying that way. I kept drifting in and out of long weird dreams. In my dreams I felt conscious of time, so it made for a very long night. Awake, dream, awake, dream.

I slept until 9:00 this morning. You would think that would be plenty of time in bed but I don't feel like I slept at all. I am so irritable. I keep forgetting what I am doing and it is hard to concentrate. My hands are shaking.

I switched my antidepressant medication a few weeks ago to lexapro, which is combined with wellbutrin that I started at the beginning of this major episode. Even though I am down right now I have been feeling better.

When I am able to find the words and when I can concentrate more I will write more about the beginning of this episode.


Anonymous said...

Hi Amy Dear~~ Your day sounds pretty gloomy. I'm glad to hear the Lexapro is helping. Doctors have run all the tests? Thyroid, iron, Lyme, Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalga, hormones? I'm know you're savvy and adept enough to cover these bases but th e shaky hands and difficulty concentrating etc. sound scary. My heart goes out to you. I'll be interested to hear more when you're feeling up to it.