Domestic arguments

Last night my husband and I had a terrible argument. I won't go into specifics. Arguing sucks. Especially if the arguments aren't productive and hurt feelings abound. All I want to do when this happens is go into my shell.

I've read both of these books over the years and need to read them again. They are a bit conflicting... Nonviolent Communication is all about showing you that
how you communicate with your partner can be damaging and offers communication help. The second book, by John Gottman talks about issues such as feelings of contempt and defensiveness as the main cause of marital strife. Both books are extremely helpful.

Has anyone else read any books on partnership that have been helpful?